Category Archives: Exercise

4 Weeks Recovery

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Life is getting better.  I have so much more energy.  I phased out my afternoon naps that I took almost every day earlier this summer.  I am getting exercise and spending more time outside.  I adhere to my food plan daily.  I report my food to someone every morning.  I am speaking with other women who share the same problems with food.  I am trying to help other people who suffer from alcoholism and compulsive eating.  I notice physical changes in myself besides weight loss.  I hunch my shoulders and hide my eyes from people less.  I walk straighter and taller and feel my confidence returning.

This Friday I go back to work after having the summer off.  I work at a local school, and I am looking forward to going back.  I do miss the structure of my days when I am working.  I feel confident that I can incorporate my food plan in to my work day without a problem.  It will just take good planning and willingness.  I really enjoy my work, and I am so glad that I moved from New Jersey to Colorado last year to take this job.

Two years ago almost to the day I had a total breakdown spurred by a PTSD flash back.  I lost my ability to work.  I couldn’t read temporarily.  I felt like someone reached into my brain and stirred its contents, and I had to spend almost a year getting everything back into place.  I lost my job of ten years after I was not able to return to work after 3 months of FMLA leave.  I was a walking zombie mired in depression.  I did not leave the house except to go to therapy.  I was incapable of any social interaction.  My parents were my heroes.  I moved into their house. They helped me clean out my condo and put it on the market.  My mother fought tirelessly with insurance companies and to get me on disability.  I was incapable of doing any of it.  If I did not have my parents, I could easily have wound up homeless and without medical care.

Things did not turn around for me until the following spring.  My doctors made an adjustment to my medication that made a massive difference in my ability to cope with daily life.  Within days I came out of my fog and back into reality.  I started socializing again.  I visited a few supportive old friends.  I planned a trip to spend 3 weeks with my brother and his family in Colorado.  Those three weeks I spent in Colorado revitalized me.  The weather and scenery were beautiful.  I loved spending time with my niece and nephew.  I thought about moving to Steamboat Springs for years, but it had never seemed like the right time with my job.  Now I had nothing to hold me back.  My job was gone, and my house was sold.  It was time to make the change.

I went back to New Jersey, and told my parents of my decision, which they supported. I started looking for jobs online immediately.   I was worried about my marketability for employment with a one year gap on my resume, but it turned out not to be an issue.  I had a phone interview for my job at the school, and I was hired over the phone to start in early October.    My brother and sister-in-law invited me to stay with them for a few months.  Once my parents realized I was serious and had a solid plan, they also decided it was time to move to Steamboat.  I moved out in September, and they followed in December once they sold their home.  My whole immediate family now lives in Steamboat.  We all enjoy the natural beauty, lovely weather, slower pace, and quality of life we found here.

My recovery from compulsive overeating is really the last of my battles for now.  I have not touched alcohol or drugs in 12 years, I am getting successful medical attention for my mental illness, and now I am taking care of my problems with food.  Something new may always pop up, but for now, I am doing everything I can to have a healthy and successful life.

3 Weeks

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I now have 3 weeks of abstinence, and there are definitely positive changes happening.  I have more energy.  I no longer feel the need for a daily nap.  My ability to walk is improving.  I am now up to walking a mile and a half, and the pain in my leg and back is no where near as debilitating.  I am sure I have lost weight, but I do not know how much.  I do not own a scale and I do not intend to get one.  How I feel and what I can do are more important than a number on a scale.

This last weekend we had 27 family members gathered to celebrate my parents’ 50th wedding anniversary.  The weekend was full of drinking and eating.  It is not difficult for me to abstain from alcohol after 12 years of sobriety, but the food was more difficult.  I did not eat any of the appetizers are other food served to the guests.  I stuck to my food plan entirely and prepared my own meals.  I tried to stay useful by washing dishes and picking up trash and recycling.  Some of our family members had questions for me about what I was eating and why, and I answered honestly.  Anyone who inquired was supportive.  I feel fortunate to have kind and loving extended family (and immediate family).

 

2 Weeks Back

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I now have two weeks of abstinence for the first time in years.  I am already feeling much better.  My feeling of well-being can be attributed to both a healthy diet and exercise.  I follow my food plan precisely.  I attempt some form of exercise every day.  The last few days I walked on the track at the local high school.  The first two days I was able to walk one mile.  The pain in my right leg was too much to go further.  The third day I pushed myself to go one more lap.  I stopped several times to stretch in order to make it, but I made it.  I just walk through the pain as best as I can.  The last time I was abstinent I did not do moderate exercise as recommended, and I am determined not to make the same mistake again.

The rehab I went to had an acronym for the four points of recovery they wanted us to follow: SERF.  Spirituality, Exercise, Rest, and Food Plan.  This time around I am focusing on all four points.  I do a period of prayer and meditation every morning, and I try to practice spiritual principles throughout the day, and help people when I can.  I exercise moderately.  I sleep 8-10 hours a night.   I follow my food plan from my nutritionist daily, and I also report my food daily to someone else in recovery.   All of this runs contrary to what I would do when left to my own devices.  I need to be willing and open to suggestions from people who recovered from compulsive overeating.

Trudging Along

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I am keeping up with my food plan day to day, and I am also exercising.  I did try taking a walk the other day but my back and leg cramps were really bad.  I will stick to yoga for now.  Settling into the routine of my food plan is difficult.  I eat six times a day, and it takes a lot of planning and effort to do that.  I also report my food for the day to someone else first thing in the morning so I can be accountable for what I eat.  I went out yesterday with my sister in law and my niece for a few hours, and I brought my morning snack with me, but I was watching the clock hoping I would be back from the trip at a reasonable time to eat lunch.  It will take a while before I can stop watching the clock and just start listening to my body.  At this point I still feel hungry most of the time, so I don’t trust my own instincts about when to eat.  I know this will improve over time as my body adjusts to my food plan.

Exercise

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Exercise is tough for me being as overweight as I am.  I do not own a scale, so I do not know what I weigh, nor am I interested in knowing.  I just know my body is unwieldy and uncooperative.  I was once a good athlete and I loved to exercise, but the more weight I gained through eating compulsively, the harder and harder exercise of any kind became.  I am plagued by pain in my lower back and lower legs which makes even short walks difficult.  Even yoga is difficult due to the weight of my body and the size of my stomach.  Either I cannot bend completely or I cannot support the weight of my body in most poses.

So where do I begin?  I know moderate exercise will be a crucial part of my recovery, and it was an area I neglected in my last long period of abstinence.  I need to do better.  I am just doing what I can.  I bought a beginner yoga DVD, and I am doing the poses I can to the best of my ability.  I have to believe that the more I do, the more I will improve, and the easier it will become.  I am also doing lots of stretching.  I am hoping I can release some of the tension in my lower back and legs so that walking becomes easier.  It is no longer an option to do nothing.  I have to dig myself out of this hole.  I need to start with simple exercises and work on setting higher goals for myself.