Life is getting better.  I have so much more energy.  I phased out my afternoon naps that I took almost every day earlier this summer.  I am getting exercise and spending more time outside.  I adhere to my food plan daily.  I report my food to someone every morning.  I am speaking with other women who share the same problems with food.  I am trying to help other people who suffer from alcoholism and compulsive eating.  I notice physical changes in myself besides weight loss.  I hunch my shoulders and hide my eyes from people less.  I walk straighter and taller and feel my confidence returning.

This Friday I go back to work after having the summer off.  I work at a local school, and I am looking forward to going back.  I do miss the structure of my days when I am working.  I feel confident that I can incorporate my food plan in to my work day without a problem.  It will just take good planning and willingness.  I really enjoy my work, and I am so glad that I moved from New Jersey to Colorado last year to take this job.

Two years ago almost to the day I had a total breakdown spurred by a PTSD flash back.  I lost my ability to work.  I couldn’t read temporarily.  I felt like someone reached into my brain and stirred its contents, and I had to spend almost a year getting everything back into place.  I lost my job of ten years after I was not able to return to work after 3 months of FMLA leave.  I was a walking zombie mired in depression.  I did not leave the house except to go to therapy.  I was incapable of any social interaction.  My parents were my heroes.  I moved into their house. They helped me clean out my condo and put it on the market.  My mother fought tirelessly with insurance companies and to get me on disability.  I was incapable of doing any of it.  If I did not have my parents, I could easily have wound up homeless and without medical care.

Things did not turn around for me until the following spring.  My doctors made an adjustment to my medication that made a massive difference in my ability to cope with daily life.  Within days I came out of my fog and back into reality.  I started socializing again.  I visited a few supportive old friends.  I planned a trip to spend 3 weeks with my brother and his family in Colorado.  Those three weeks I spent in Colorado revitalized me.  The weather and scenery were beautiful.  I loved spending time with my niece and nephew.  I thought about moving to Steamboat Springs for years, but it had never seemed like the right time with my job.  Now I had nothing to hold me back.  My job was gone, and my house was sold.  It was time to make the change.

I went back to New Jersey, and told my parents of my decision, which they supported. I started looking for jobs online immediately.   I was worried about my marketability for employment with a one year gap on my resume, but it turned out not to be an issue.  I had a phone interview for my job at the school, and I was hired over the phone to start in early October.    My brother and sister-in-law invited me to stay with them for a few months.  Once my parents realized I was serious and had a solid plan, they also decided it was time to move to Steamboat.  I moved out in September, and they followed in December once they sold their home.  My whole immediate family now lives in Steamboat.  We all enjoy the natural beauty, lovely weather, slower pace, and quality of life we found here.

My recovery from compulsive overeating is really the last of my battles for now.  I have not touched alcohol or drugs in 12 years, I am getting successful medical attention for my mental illness, and now I am taking care of my problems with food.  Something new may always pop up, but for now, I am doing everything I can to have a healthy and successful life.