I posted some personal things related to my addictions on Facebook prior to starting this blog.  I am copying those posts over since they really were the beginning of my journey into sharing my personal struggles.  This post was written on April 16th:

Every now and then I say some really personal stuff on Facebook. Now is one of those times. I just want to share my experience, and maybe someone will find something helpful in what I have to say. I find comfort in knowing that when I share my own vulnerability, someone else may feel that it is okay to be vulnerable. This life is too short for me to waste time on putting up a front that all is well and life is easy and happy. The only real way I know how to help people is by sharing my experience.

I lost a lot of weight since I starting following the food plan from my nutritionist almost a year ago. I rarely weigh myself, so I don’t know how much, but it is a significant amount. I was a thin when I was younger, and then I gained weight in my twenties and thirties, and now I am losing that weight I put on. I do not have any weight loss goal. I just follow my food plan as instructed. The only objective here is to eat sanely and live a healthy life. Whatever happens to my body as a result is not part of my objective for eating well.

I cannot begin to tell you how differently I was treated by people when I gained weight, and now that I am losing weight, people are starting to treat me differently again. Now when strangers are nice to me in public, look me in the eye, or hold doors for me, it can be hard not to feel angry and resentful. For too many years people looked past me, looked through me or glared at me as if my appearance was a personal affront to them.

I am grateful to be living a healthier life, but it is actually quite difficult to go through drastic weight loss, and it has nothing to do with giving up overeating or certain kinds of food. There is a literally a level of insulation and protection that is lost both physically and emotionally. Even getting direct compliments about my weight loss can be difficult. People only mean well, and it is always with good intentions and positive encouragement. I had to learn just to say “thank you” and to let it be.

When you see someone who is overweight, it is easy to go with the snap judgment and to say why don’t they eat better or take care of themselves. I still find myself doing it too, and I try to catch myself when that happens. I assure you, it is not easy to be overweight, and there are many factors that make it difficult to change. I have a few friends who have stood by me with unwavering love and lack of judgment through the years, and they really amaze me. Every lesson I learn always brings me back to love and tolerance of others. And myself.